Thursday, September 24, 2009

Roommates: Can't live with 'em....Can't live with 'em

I at the ripe old age of 26 have decided that I am done with roommates. If I get married or have a child this sentiment will have to change; but given where I am currently situated in life I don't see either coming my way anytime soon, so yes; I am done with roommates.

I hate living with roommates, and for the most part, most gentrified individuals hate being domiciled with me. I don't believe in folding clothes, let alone putting them away, nor do I find it necessary to curb any activity that I find enjoyable to increase the comfort of those around me.

That being said, I really do like having people around me so that I can regale them with stories of my adventures and mishaps...but that's all I want them there for. To be my audience. Once the whole shared lifestyle comes into play I have no use for them and usually don't respect them whatsoever.

I was walking around Philadelphia the other day after looking at one bedroom apartments, blissfully aware of the fact that I had now destroyed another living situation and was about to finally live on my own, when it finally hit me. I know why I hate living with people!

My mother. It always comes back to Kathie somehow. Not that she scarred me and created a she-monster that howls in the night or hides under people's beds and scares them...due to overprotecting me she created a very independent woman. Every time I live with someone I inevitably feel that they are trying to nag, smother and eventually, mother me.

Nothing will throw me into a rage faster than someone who will remind me that there are dishes in the sink, or that my purse has been emptied out on the table since Saturday. I'm well aware of all of these things, I just don't care.

Maybe when I become a mother I will understand the need that some people have to nag, smother and mother...but as for now I don't understand, nor do I care to. If you want to leave your toys all over the floor little Billy be my guest. Honey, if you want to get potato chip crumbs all over your side of the bed, have fun sleeping in that garbage, because I am not going to clean it up for you.

So I guess this a warning to all of my future ex-husbands and future emancipated children...I just don't care.

1 comment:

  1. Dang Alyssa,

    The stuff you write about is more interesting than reading Pennoyer vs. Neff, but unfortunately I have to read this shit for monday. You write well though, and I enjoy reading your dissertations, however wacked they may be. I'm Definitely gonna start reading your blog, cause I like hearing about your the craziness you get into, and subsequently get out of. You, like me, are a conniver, which is why you're so fittingly a lawyer, and which is why I will be too some day. Until then, I'll stay current with the "Alyssa Show" by reading your blog, and making and receiving drunk dials. Keep on Keepin' on!